Being set free in a mall (not the kind they have in New Hampshire) and getting to fill several red wagons–or maybe Suburbans–with clothes that cannot double as pajamas or be worn to a preschool classroom. Coming home exhausted and happy from a day of retail therapy to my wonderful husband who has cooked dinner and magically made our 10 ft pile of laundry disappear (I’m not talking ‘disappear’ like what we do with it when we have company over, either.) Eating several servings of bread pudding in bed while watching Pulp Fiction and not feeling guilty that I didn’t even think about working out. Waking up from my dream and realizing that the only part I actually did was eat bread pudding and not work out

What’s your perfect day look like?

It’s so nice to be back in the blogging world. I guess I didn’t realize how much I really miss it when I’m away. Anyway, I’ve been meaning to update you on my recent foray into cooking, so I’ll take this opportunity to let you know what I’ve been up to in the kitchen, as of late.

After we got married and finally got our lives organized, I decided it was time to become a little more domestic. While our various activities and commitments pull us in a lot of different directions and we can’t always sit down and eat together, I wanted to make more of an effort to cook something homemade for dinner every night, instead of blowing our money on eating out or getting quick, unhealthy alternatives.

During my time as a vegetarian (I became one senior year of high school and hopped back on the carnivore bandwagon last year) I started buying more organic foods, with an eye towards healthfulness. In college, I discovered that I have IBS (I’m convinced the horrible habits I developed through my eating disorder are what caused it) and I’ve found that the best “cure” for me is eating fresh, whole, unprocessed foods with as few additives as possible. Lately, our shopping cart is filled almost entirely with organic foods. Yes, it’s super expensive, but I’ve found that you can stretch your dollar very easily with one simple change: making food from scratch.

I think if you’re anything like me, this phrase can seem very daunting. I’m used to buying my granola from a box on the shelf, my veggie burgers from the freezer section and my pancake batter from Bisquick. But as I’ve gotten more comfortable being in the kitchen and making my recipes using the pre-made stuff, I realized I actually really enjoy cooking and the challenge that making something from scratch poses for me. I also like the challenge of going through the grocery store and seeing how many meals I can make while staying within a certain budget.

One rule I’ve learned: avoid the middle of the grocery store and you’ll save a ton of money and buy healthier foods that are essential to your diet. The stuff in the middle aisles is unnecessary and you’ll find that you can avoid it entirely after a while without missing any of it.

There have certainly been trials and errors with this part –I’ve learned that buying certain vegetables frozen is a better route for us to take and that I should check the fridge and cabinets before shopping so we don’t overbuy–but it’s a fun experience that is proving to save us money in the long run. Plus, it’s a hobby that I’m truly enjoying because it’s A) rewarding and B) a big EFF YOU to my eating disorder.

So, while I’m by no means a food blogger, I’m going to try to document my efforts to make new foods from scratch and see how it impacts our health and our budget along the way. Our crazy busy lives will definitely pose a certain challenge, but I’m excited to embark on a new adventure toward being healthier and saving some moolah.

My first order of business is to invest in some quality cooking/baking utensils that will make the sometimes very time consuming process of cooking food from scratch a little less so. I just got a bread maker from my mom that I’m pumped to use, but here’s what else is on my wish list:

1. A food processor

I can’t wait to make homemade hummus, guacamole, veggie burgers, tomato sauce, etc etc etc. Our blender just isn’t cuttin it (literally)

2. A pasta machine

I am so excited for this one. Pasta is so easy to make (though it is super time consuming) but I’d LOVE to make fresh pasta to go with homemade sauce. YUM!

3. A good set of knives

This was my fault for not registering for these when we got married. We have a knife set from Adam’s dad that got us by when I wasn’t really cooking much, but now that I am, we need some quality knives that are good for chopping, cutting bread, dismembering intruders, etc.

I’m sure I’ll think of more to add to my list as I begin to get a little better at this, but that’s all for now. Look for my next post where I attempt to make veggie burgers from scratch!

Peace, love & carbs,

Melissa

I’m writing a book.

A novel, to be exact. Writing has always been my life’s passion and is something that I truly enjoy. After I won my first writing contest in 4th grade, I was hooked. I became part of a kids group that wrote stories Saturday mornings at my local library; I entered more contests and became a published author before I was 10. It was all very intoxicating for a kid.

Then I kind of abandoned the creative side of my writing for awhile, in favor of what I figured was more practical: writing nonfiction. I excelled at writing papers in my English classes and I became the editor of my high school paper, where I was bit by the Journalism bug.

I decided to pursue Journalism as my major because I figured by the time I graduated, books would be obsolete and I’d be out of a career. But , as it turned out, journalism is now the dying industry and books have had a resurgence in popularity due to the e-reader revolution started by the Kindle.

But that’s not the reason I’m finally pursuing my dream of being a novelist. I’m doing it because life is short and books take a long time to write. Well, that’s one of the reasons. The biggest reason is that I enjoy it and sometimes I think we don’t do enough of what we enjoy because of setbacks like money, time or practicality.

But, enough of being pragmatic or realistic. Those things aren’t what make dreams come true. You never hear the founder of a successful company say, “Yeah, I made it big by aiming to fail and setting low expectations.”

So I’m going into this endeavor with every fiber of my being believing that I will someday be successful. I don’t necessarily mean successful by Jodi Picoult or John Grisham’s standards. I mean successful by my standards. I’m not aiming to win the race (although I’m not saying it’s out of the question) I just want to cross the finish line with a smile on my face.

I hope you’re as excited about my news as I am. I just finished the prologue and first chapter so things are progressing slowly but surely after the character/plot development phase. When I have some more actual writing to show for myself, I will update you from time to time on here.

But, for now, I’m making a concerted effort to get on here and update my blog at least once/week. I so appreciate any/all of you that still read Project Bare. It’s your feedback that keeps me going

xoxo

Melissa

Looking back, I was just starting to come into my own and regain some sense of self at that point and this blog and all the wonderful people who read it really helped push me forward on that path. I’m happy to say that I finally feel happy, well-adjusted, confident and, dare I say it, somewhat content with where I am in my life right now.

Content is definitely not a word that I would have ever used to describe myself in the past. I’m a 23 year woman who is married, owns a house and has already had more jobs than I could list on a 5 page resume. I’m not exactly a settler. I’m impatient and, when I want something, I go after it with a vengeance. For a little while…until I give up and move onto the next thing. It’s definitely not a quality I’m proud of and it’s something I’ve always wanted to change about myself. Problem was, I had too many other things I wanted to change about myself to deal with first.

But now that I’m finally happy being me and not actively trying to change who I am, I do have some things that I’m ready to work on concerning how I live my life. I could say these things are long overdue, but I actually feel like I needed to come to that realization in my own time–not because someone told me I needed to. I’m a woman who wanted the trappings of an adult life, without having to actually act like an adult. But it’s finally caught up to me.

So, as I announced to my husband the other day, I’m ready to start acting like an adult. But what the heck does that mean?

1. Keeping my life organized. Adam and I have a terrible habit of ignoring things like dishes, laundry, vacuuming, unpacking bags, etc etc until they pile up so badly that neither one of us wants to make the first move to rectify the situation. On my day off Thursday, I got into full-on organizing mode and whaddayaknow? It’s much easier to do one load of dishes or laundry at a time than claw your way out from under a 10 ft pile of crap. Turns out, bills work the same way. I spent so much time avoiding paying bills and opening new credit cards to delay the inevitable. But I found when I just sat down and paid them all off, the monkey on my back that wouldn’t stop pestering me about my debt finally climbed off and found someone else to bother. Shocking revelations on my part, but hey, it’s all part of growing up, I suppose.

2. Settling. I’ve always had the restless gene. It’s just how I’m wired. My mind cannot settle on the present–it’s always jumping forward to the possibilities of the future, dreaming of what will be different then. Even though I have a beautiful new house, I instinctively start researching what house or what state we’ll live in next–even when we’ve only been here a year. I have a wonderful husband that I’m finally ready to enjoy after years spent apart and I start thinking about throwing babies in the mix. I have a great job that I FINALLY can say I really love and I’m wondering how long it will last.

But ya know what I realized? I love my life and where I’m at right now–I have the rest of my life to do what’s coming next, so why mess with what’s already good?

3. Being a homebody.  I know I’m still young, but there’s something about having your own house that makes you kind of want to put an end to all the weekends out at the bar, partying with people you don’t know. I’m more content now to just have friends over for dinner or go to someone’s house to have a beer and watch a movie. Not that I don’t love a fun night out, meeting new people every now and then, but there’s something that changes when you realize you already have the great friends that need and you don’t have to go to a packed bar to find them.

4. Embracing me. An unfortunate part of being young is that much of that time is spent questioning who you are and trying to change it. Conversely, I think a big part of growing up is embracing who you are, even if it isn’t the norm. I like the things I like and I’m finally learning not to apologize for that. I don’t think the core of who I am has really changed that much since I was younger–but rather, I’ve learned to embrace who I am and what I like without worrying what others think. When I lived in Boston, I changed a lot of things about myself to conform to the standards of my new friends, people I worked with and the city in general. I spent tons of money buying designer jeans and bags, I gave up all the foods I loved to be skinny and, worst of all, I wasn’t even happy.

Now, I live in the great state of New Hampshire where you can wear sweatpants to the bar and the best handbags are from Target. And I freakin love it–it’s so much more me. Keeping up appearances is a full-time job that I don’t have the time or energy for anymore. And, as for being thin–I think a big ass cookie tastes way better than skinny feels. C’mon, Grow up, Kate Moss

xoxo

MM

Why do I bring this up? Because before this, I always fought the urge to let myself be comfortable–if I was comfortable, it meant that I wasn’t working hard enough. If I enjoyed a meal, it meant that I’d pay for it the next day. If I skipped a workout to stay curled up under the blankets, I’d punish myself for it all day long. If I drank a cup of hot chocolate, it had to be a meal, not a treat.

Since the fall arrived, I’ve been drinking one cup of hot chocolate a day, eating my treats at lunch and hitting the snooze button to stay in bed with Adam when I should be hauling my butt to the gym.

And ya know what? It feels awesome to finally be comfortable.

I am FINALLY returning from a long hiatus from Project Bare and it feels good to get back in the saddle again. I’ve been putting off coming back for so long–at first it was the wedding prep and the honeymoon and then after my life returned to normal, I started building up my return post too much in my mind and couldn’t force myself to sit down and just do it already.

So here it is–nothing crazy. Just me saying hello and updating you on the goings-on in my life since my last post in July.

Since then, I’ve had my big dream wedding–the most amazing day of my life, hands down– and am now married to Adam, the greatest person I’ve ever known. I am deliriously happy being his wife and I can’t help but smile every time I get to say that word! I will certainly post some pictures of my wedding day soon–I’m just waiting for more of the professional shots to come back, but so far, they came out wonderful. Thank you Stacey M!

In other news, I am still loving my job and can’t wait to share the hilarious happenings of my classroom on a daily basis. It gets pretty crazy in there with 18 wild 2 year olds (my co-teachers and I are going to our Halloween parade at school dressed as zookeepers) but I feel so blessed to be doing what I’m doing because–whodathunk?–it makes me ridiculously happy to being doing it!

I do have other big news (no, I’m not pregnant!) but it’s something that is very close to my heart and I want to wait for the right time to announce it. If you know me at all, you’ll know that this takes a great deal of restraint for me, because I love to spill the beans the second I make up my mind to do something. This one is pretty serious for me, so I want to treat it delicately

Anyway, I’m so glad to be back and, if I still have any readers, I’d really love to hear from you!

MM

After a weekend of hard work, they’re all in the mail!

The war room

This is how we rewarded ourselves:

Fillings: Almond buttercream, peanut butter, raspberry cream, strawberries & cream, buttercream, chocolate mousse, lemon, strawberry, raspberry chocolate truffle, chocolate custard

Cake (on left): Traditional chocolate, chocolate with Kahlua and cinnamon powder, chocolate with Chambord, raspberry chocolate

(on right): Almond, lemon, and two traditional vanilla cakes

So what did we pick? The best of both worlds, in our humble opinion. Vanilla cake with strawberries and cream and almond cake with chocolate custard (on alternating layers, of course.) Our top piece to keep and eat on our first anniversary is almond cake with almond buttercream frosting. YUM.

Who knew wedding planning could be so fun?!

xoxo

Meliss

A: So here’s the catch: you have to go through the “experimentation phase” before you can really nail down what your healthy weight is. The reason is that during this phase you are supposed to be trying out formerly forbidden foods and getting used to being able to have them whenever you want. As they tell you Intuitive Eating, recovery is not a time for calorie counting or restriction; its supposed to be a time to reconnect with and begin to enjoy food again. It’s also not a time for obsessive exercising (this part took a lot for me to come to grips with) because you have to get used to the very true fact that you won’t gain weight just from eating something “forbidden.” For me, it took going all the way to South Africa where I literally had no time and no place to workout unless I used my own two feet. This was a HUGELY difficult adjustment for me, at first, but it got easier with time. It was out of my control and, since there was nothing I could do about it, I couldn’t freak out over something that I couldn’t change. When I got home though, everyone told me how great I looked and, even though I felt like a whale, I kept getting sincere compliments from Adam and my family about how good I looked. This was really hard to get used to at first, but, I finally broke down and asked Adam exactly what he thought. Was I too skinny before? Did I look better now? He was careful not to say that I was too skinny before (even though it was the truth) but he said I looked perfect the way I was right at that moment. I felt like that admission set me free. The person I loved preferred me that way and now I could start to love me that way too. It was really difficult at first, but here is a tip that helped me:

Hope this helps some of you out there too!

xoxo

Melissa